Late
by X-7 234
Summary: Max is late, in more ways than one...
1. Default Chapter

The funny thing about Manticore was that even when it was standing still, time was everything. It could be the thing that determined how long you got to live, or how long you had to wait to die. And they were always testing time. How fast we could think, or run, or take out a two hundred pound guard. It was there best way of torturing us, and our only salvation; the thought that they would run out of it someday. I guess that you could say that even when it wasn't moving, thoughts of the future, and what it all meant, thoughts of time coursed through our minds like blood coursed through our veins. They were always trying to beat time, because I think they knew that we weren't going to stick around much longer. And even then, when we did escape, things were only too clear. My time would run out one day and I would end up right back where I started. Time dragged by in training. It stood still for an endless moment when Eva was shot. And it flew by all too fast, the first time that Logan and I kissed. Time is everything. Or it used to be, anyway.  
So I guess that it is some cruel irony that that fixation with time transferred over to both my mind and my biochemistry. Today I woke up and I knew that I was late. Two whole days late. At first I thought that it was just some fluke. Or at least I told myself that, even if deep down I knew that it was total crap. But somehow, I couldn't dismiss a second day of unnatural delay. I am always, always, on time. You could set a clock to the timeliness of my feminine biology, but now here I am, two days late. I didn't even need to look at the pregnancy test to know the results. So now here I am, sitting on top of the Space Needle, wondering how the hell I am going to tell Logan that I happen to be carrying his child. It is cold up here, and I wish that I had some other place to think. I know that I can't feel the baby this early; it is way too soon. But I can imagine what it is going to feel like when it does. I am kind of looking forward to it. Stop it, Max, you have to be reasonable. You have to realize that both you and Logan have no idea how to raise children. And while Logan might have had an actual childhood, you are some Manticore brainchild, super soldier, freak. Not much of a person to look to their past on the joys of raising children. And you're barely twenty years old, a little young to be introducing spawn to this broken world. Broken world, this wacked planet is just one more reason that you shouldn't do this, that you should just handle it all by yourself and never tell Logan. Maybe if I sit here long enough I will actually be able to convince myself of it. The truth is that if I don't tell Logan what's going on with me, I won't be able to live with myself. As much I want to believe that I can just go along, deal with this pregnancy in some disgusting back alley clinic, I know that isn't true. This is his child too, isn't it? But if I tell him I know that he will look at me with those amazing blue eyes, hold me close, and be all noble and wonderful and crap, and then within a week I will be Mrs. Logan Cale, living in that nice penthouse with a baby on the way. That is just the kind of guy that Logan is. He loves me, and he will want to keep the baby. I know he will. I have been fending off that feeling all day, because if Logan wants the baby, then maybe I will have to admit to myself that I do, too. I love Logan, the thought of being away from him makes me sick, and the thought of a family, well let's just say that would be my final way of turning my back on Manticore. A little Max running around, now there's a funny thought. Or a little Logan, which would be better, less mistakes. I bet that it would have Logan's eyes, and my hair and lips. Hopefully it would go without the seizures and black helicopters, or Logan's habit of getting into to trouble, because God knows I worry enough about him, without one more person to think about. Stop it; you can't even think those thoughts. Jesus, there are a million reasons to go and deal with this right now; Manticore and that b*tch director. They would want to be all up in our faces, or take it away, or train it, or whatever. They would never leave us alone. The United States is broken, the world is corrupt, what business do we have bringing a child into that world? And now my pager is going off, bringing me back to reality. I hope to God that it isn't Logan, but I am almost sure that it is. Funny, when I was back at Manticore, the only thing that kept me from going crazy was the thought of him. He kept me sane, his image in my mind kept me from giving into their crap, and my need to be near him helped me escape the second time, with a live Zack in tow. And now, after all that he is the one person that I would give anything to avoid. I turn over my pager, and see Logan's number. I wish I had more time to think about this, but when I get to Logan's I will either be telling him and having the baby, or not telling him and putting myself on a waitlist with the public department and hope that they get to me before I start to show. As I start to climb down from the space needle, I can see my bike. My motorcycle is my baby. Or at least it used to be. It is one more reason that this is a really bad idea.  
  
Yeah, there are a million reasons to pull out now.  
  
And one not to.  
  
I want to keep it.  
  
What a day.   
  
  



	2. So here's what my boyfriend thinks...

The wind blows through my hair as I ride over to Logan's. I am going to tell him. Right   
away, because if I wait I might loose my nerve. 'Logan, I am pregnant'. God, that sounds   
funny. The words get stuck in the back of my throat like a ball and adhere to my tongue. Logan,   
and then Zack, and then Original Cindy and then Lydecker and then the other X-5's, that's who   
I'll tell. No, that isn't right, Logan first and then OC, because she is my home girl. Then   
Lydecker and then Zack and the others. If I tell Lydecker first then he will be able to give me an   
idea of the whole Manticore response. Ever since I got back from Manticore, Lydecker hasn't   
seemed as bad compared to Renfro, the new anti-Christ. I have been trying to forgive him, let go   
of the past. After all, he played a pretty big part in getting me back to Seattle. I shudder to think   
what would have happened if I hadn't gotten out of Manticore the second time. Mind you, I had   
help. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it weren't for the father of Jace's baby. Maybe when   
Jace has settled in more, she'll be able to come up to Seattle and the kids can play together.   
Anyway, the father of Jace's baby was still working at Manticore as a research scientist, because   
Jace didn't tell them who the father was. He helped with the reprogramming, so that I got just   
enough in my system so that Renfro thought that I was drugged, but not enough for it to re-wire   
the chemical connections of my mind. I remember when Renfro would ask me whether I was   
loyal to Manticore. What are your intentions, Max? She would always ask that after a session   
with the resequencing drugs. And I would always answer, "To obey and follow my commanding   
officers to complete my mission to serve Manticore." Every time I said those words, I wanted to   
kill her. I have spent my entire life trying to get away from everything that Manticore stands for,   
and there I was, having to kiss a*s to get out. Zack thinks that he had it worse than me, being   
dependent on someone else to help get him out, because he was in isolation. But I would have   
much rather been in that potion than mine. At least he was able to leave with some personal   
dignity. Oh well, you do what you gotta to do to survive.   
I am about three blocks away from Logan's now. I stop my bike on the side of the street   
and take a deep breath. My whole has changed in the last three days. I've barely gotten used to   
the fact that I am going bring a child into this world, telling Logan will make it really final. But   
as I sit here I am beginning to realize that I am ok with that. If telling Logan will make it more   
real, then so be it. My whole life all I have wanted is to have a family, a normal life, surrounded   
by people that love and support me. And I finally have that. I've got my home girl, OC, and a   
family that is slowly coming back together. I have freedom, and even though a reincarnation of   
Hitler is my boss, I have job. A girl's got to make a living, right? Besides, the fact that my job   
makes me want to backhand somebody makes me feel like your average Joe. As I look down the   
road, I feel something I have never felt before. It makes me think of those wacked out preacher   
guys on TV, talking about how even though this world is broken, you have got to be grateful for   
what you have and see a realm of possibilities. Blah, blah, blah. Still, maybe this is supposed to   
be one of those life altering moments, you know the ones that you look back on with tears in   
your eyes and gratitude in your heart that some divine power showed you the light… I think that   
I need to get to Logan's, so I can wait to go insane until after I get his response.   
I park my bike in Logan's underground garage and then head up to the penthouse. Lately   
the penthouse has been like my second home. With all the time that I spend with Logan,   
between dinners, movies, looking for my family… long, lazy day and long ni- never mind. And   
it won't be a bad place to raise Logan Jr. I hope that Original Cindy can find a roommate. I feel   
kind of bad that I am gonna leave her in a lurch, but I think that she will be able to see how   
important it is. As I come out of my train of thought, I realize that I have been standing in front   
of Logan's door for several minutes. I knock and Logan comes to the door.  
"Hey," Logan says, giving me a smile.   
  
"Hey," I say, giving him a tone and a smile that only he gets to see.  
  
"I tried to call you, but OC said that you were out."  
  
"Yeah, I had some thinking to do."  
  
"Well, I started making an incredible dinner, we can eat and then play chess or   
something," he says, pulling me toward him. It's now or never, I have to tell him now before we   
get too comfortable.  
  
"Logan, I…"  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm late."  
  
"It's ok, I mean, I couldn't get a hold of you, it's no big deal."  
  
"No, I'm…I am pregnant, Logan."  
  
For a moment, neither one of us speaks and as the seconds go buy, I begin to wonder   
whether I overestimated his ability to deal with this situation. I try to look everywhere but his   
eyes, because I am afraid of what I might find there.  
  
"I don't know how it happened… I mean, we were really careful and everything. I know   
that two days might not be a big deal to a normal person but I am always on time and the   
pregnancy test was positive. I thought about just dealing with it on my own, but I knew that you   
would want to know and, well the thing is, I want to keep it."  
  
I wait for his response but none comes.   
  
"Logan, I know that might seem crazy or stupid, or like we couldn't do it. But I have   
never wanted anything more than a family, and I think that I have finally found the one person   
that I want to make that happen with."  
  
I pause again and am about to start talking again when Logan puts his finger to my lips to   
silence me. He lifts my chin with his hand and I find the courage to look in his eyes. I see a look   
of love and am relieved.  
  
"Max, this is going to be ok. We can do this. Granted, it was a little unexpected, but I   
love you and I don't care that we didn't plan it. Sometimes miracles come when we least expect   
them, I mean you broke in didn't you, angel?"  
  
I look up and smile, as Logan places his hand on my stomach.  
  
"Angel, is that a new nick name?"  
  
Logan and I both spin around to see Lydecker and Zack in hallway.  
  
Sometimes I feel like my life reads like a TV show.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Choices, wedding bells, and Zach with a ...

The first thing that pops up in my mind is, 'How the hell are they here?' After that I am able to gain some composure and think my second thought; what are they going to say. I assume from Zacks foul expression that he heard that I was pregnant. Lydecker looks indifferent, like he doesn't care, even though I know that he does. Logan holds my hand, but pulls it slightly behind my back to avoid a glare from Zack. The tension in the room is horrible and I want to scream at them for coming here and ruining the moment. Zack has made such a habit of that. Like when Logan and I finally admitted that we had feelings for each other, right before I went back to Manticore for the second time, he walked in and ruined that amazing first moment.   
"What are you two doing here?" I say.   
"No, Maxie, that is not the question. The question is, what the hell are you doing pregnant and with him," Zack yells and gestures toward Logan angerly. He looks like he is about a second away from killing Logan and because I don't want to be a single parent and because blood would ruin the carpet, I step in front of Logan and glare. I am daring him with my eyes, 'If you want it, come and get it' thats the look that I am sending him.   
"It wasn't something I planned Zack. But I am not under your command. We aren't at Manticore and I won't take orders from you. If you think that keeping this baby is a bad idea, fine go ahead and think that. Call it a moment of weakness; you remember that don't you?"   
"You can't be serious. The fact that you are even in Seattle makes me furious, and then that you would stay with him instead of... well lets just say that this is one more in a long list of bad choices that you have made. And it ends right here."   
"What, are you and Deck here going to drag me off, force me into an abortion, ship me back to Manticore. What the hell do you think that you and military-reject boy here are going to do?"   
For the first time, Lydecker speaks up, "Max, this is a bad idea. Even if you are safe now, that could change in an instant, and you know that. You have to make the right decison for now. You have to leave and deal with this pregnancy."   
"No, she'll leave if she wants to," Logan throws in, and he is rewarded with a smile from me. "You can't make her go. She is happy with the idea of a life here and a life with me and a baby. We are getting married, right Max?"   
Ten to one says that wasn't the way that Logan had planned on proposing but such is life. Us married, wow. And to think that when I broke in a year and a half ago, all I was looking for was one more way to make my rent. Who would have thought that I found enternal bliss in an action that started out illegal. Boy, it that ironic.   
"Yeah, we are getting married. I spent my whole life living in the shadows, scraping by on nothing in dead end jobs because anything better and people might have remmebered my face. I had no friends, no nothing. But things are different now. You say that you don't want to have anything to do with Manticore, but you still act like we are back there, like there is a war going on and there's not. You aren't my commanding officer, you are my brother, my friend, and thats how I want you in my life, not as an overbearing CO with a great huge stick up his a*s that reads, SCREW MANTICORE, FIGHT THE POWER! You are still back at Manticore and it burns you bad that I am not falling into that again. It's dead, it's done, and even if it is not, I've realized that I am not gonna let my life pass me by cuz of a lot of 'what ifs'. If shi* happens, then it happens, but we'll deal with it when it comes; not before, after."   
"You aren't safe that way," Zack yells.   
"Maybe not, but if I just give up my life to being a drifter, well then it might come in a different form but that is still Manticore controlling me. Don't you get it, you'll let them win."   
"Well then you leave me no choice," Lydecker says, with a nod from Zack. He pulls a gun from a holster at his waist. Within a moment Logan has his gun out a small metal box in his desk. He steps in front of me and I grab onto him. My face is strong, but there is a pleading in my eyes and I hope that Lydecker sees it. I look back to Logan, and the expression on his face is one that I have never seen; he would shoot, if I were threatened or the baby, he is protecting his family. I hug him tighter and he slids his free hand further up my back. From the way that he is standing, I am almost completely safe.   
"Deck, put the gun down. We haven't come this far to shoot eachother. If she wants to be stupid, then it's her lose," Zack says, and Lydecker lowers the gun. Zack and Lydecker, comrades in arms, who would have thought. Logan and I are still standing there, as the two of them file down the hall way. After we hear the door close, Logan goes and locks it.   
"I am sorry that went down that way," he says.   
"Sorry they screwed up your marriage proposal," I say in return.   
"Is your answer still yes?"   
"Yeah."   
"Then they didn't screw it up," he says smiling.   
We are gonna be fine.   
  
  



	4. Bomp, bomp, bomp...

Two Months Later:   
"Logan, come on, we are going to be late!" I yell down the hall. It's raining, again. Welcome to Seattle. Sometimes I wish that I had done what Zack told me to and gotten out of Seattle, if only to escape the climate. Zack; I haven't seen him since the night that I told Logan that I was pregnant. I remember that night so clearly. I wish that things had been different, I wish that Deck and Zack hadn't shown up together, I wish I could have told them separately, I wish... well all the wishing in the world won't make Zack see things my way, especially with Logan in my life. Zack just can't stand the man. Oh well, you can't make the whole world happy with your choices... of course you can make your O.B.G.W.N. happy by being on time for your appointment.   
"Logan! Dr. Ambrose doesn't like being kept waiting," I yell and finally he comes down the hall. Walking down the hall. I still get a thrill every time I see him walking. Logan gives me a hug and then puts his hand on my bully and says, "Well then I guess that we had better get going, after all we have to make sure that everything is all right with you."   
I love it when he talks to the baby.   
This little visit to the doctor is a big deal. In two days, I come out of my first trimester, which is a big deal because it means that with each day that goes by, my chances of miscarrying go down. Every day that has gone by in these past couple of months has been nerve racking. I go to the doctor at least once a week and have them check the heartbeat. I promised myself the moment that I decided to keep this that I would be cool and not worry. Things would just happen as they happen and we will take it from there. Yeah right. The moment that I heard the heartbeat for the first time, that was it. I have never felt that protective of anything or anyone in my whole life, except maybe Logan. Even my siblings haven't meant this to me. Glad to see that when Manticore was messing around with my DNA, they didn't screw up my maternal instinct. So when this whole period is over, I'll be very happy. Except that I am starting to show, and that is going to be a problem at work. I am not so concerned with what they will say; of course people will be surprised, because my figure is never anything less than perfect. But the fact that I haven't told Original Cindy is going to be a problem. She was already upset when I moved in with Logan and when I told her that the two of us were in engaged... well lets just say that it wasn't all puppy dogs and roses. I think that she thought that she was losing her girl. Things are better now since she has calmed down and is in a place that she can be happy for me. But somehow I don't think that me being pregnant is going to help the situation any. Oh well. I guess that I had better tell OC before I start showing and she finds out from somebody else.   
As Logan and I drive down the street to Dr. Ambrose's crib, I start my favorite game with Logan.   
"Logan, how much do you love me?" I like this game because of all the positive reinforcement. Hey, I might be Manticore made, but with all these raging pregnancy hormones, I am not responsible for my actions.   
"Until the stars fall down and the moon crumbles and all the plants shrivel and die and the earth is barren. And even then I will be content because of I have you by my side and a child I love and two legs that work... sort of," and he turns to me and gives me a smile. How can Zack hate this guy?   
"Logan, how much do you love me?"   
"More than Eyes Only, more than freedom, and more than the down trodden. Blah, blah, woof, woof."   
I smile. I like it better when he isn't poetic. It seems more real. We are almost at the doctor's office now, and I am slipping into a nervous state. I absentmindedly touch my stomach and Logan leans over and holds my hand.   
"It's a miracle, remember? The baby is going to be fine."   
Thanks Logan, I needed that. It's nice that he is trying to comfort me, even though I know that behind the niceness he is just as scared as me. We have both turned our lives upside down to have a family and if something goes wrong... I just won't think about that, it isn't productive.   
As we step into the office, I notice the other people in the room; a young women, younger than me alone, a middle aged couple with their daughter and son-in-law. The office is nice and I am thankful that I was able to go through this with money, because the public health offices aren't that great. They are under funded and understaffed and I wouldn't trust them with my baby's life if the world were about to end. Logan walks up to the counter to check in with the nurse and I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. With my eyes still closed I feel Logan sit down next to me on the waiting room couch. He grabs my hand and encloses it in his own. I smile and place my head on his shoulder. It's only then that I can feel him tense up. He squeezes my hand and I am afraid to open my eyes. Images of Manticore soldiers, a smiling Renfro, pistols pointed at my face, flash across my mind. I slowly open my eyes and an even worse image meets my sight. Original Cindy is standing in front of us, a Jam Pony package dangling from her hand, and a look of betrayal on her face. She turns on her heel and hurries out of the room, leaving her package on the table.   
"Why is she so upset?" Logan asked.   
"Because she found us at a doctor that she knows specializes in pre-natal care and I haven't told her that I am pregnant," I keep my voice low and avoid Logan's eyes. I never told him that I had told Original Cindy, but I never told him that I haven't.   
"Well you had better go after her. I'll reschedule our appointment for tomorrow," he says and I can't help but here the coldness in his voice. I want to stay and explain to him why I haven't told Original Cindy because I know that he is thinking that I am ashamed to be baring his child. But before I can say anything, he has gone up to the counter and I rush out to catch Cindy. Luckily, she was having some trouble with her bike lock and was still in front of the doctor's. She sees me coming and turns away from me.   
"Hey," I say.   
"What do you want?" She says.   
"I want to talk to you about this."   
"Ok, let's talk. Are you marrying Logan cuz the boy got you knocked up?"   
"No... yes... kind of."   
"Well, which is it. Because it is one thing if you guys have the whole, hetro-I-will-love-you-forever-thing and you are deciding to spend the rest of your life with him. But if you are just doing this because you are preggers, well then, you aren't the person that I thought you were."   
"Look, I love Logan and I might not have married him right now... but I would have sometime because I have never loved any man like him and I am happy about how the whole thing worked out because I am finally going to have that."   
"Why didn't you tell me?"   
"Because I was afraid that you would react like this. Me moving out and getting engaged was all sort of a lot to deal with and I knew that you were upset."   
"So lying to me is going to make it better. That wacked, boo. Original Cindy needs to know what is going on with her home girl."   
"Look, I'm sorry."   
"I still can't believe that you didn't tell me. Original Cindy is going to have to think on this one."   
"Boo..."   
But she just gets on her bike, the lock finally working, and rides off. Logan comes up behind me. I think that he heard what I said and has forgiven me. I am glad because I don't think that I could deal with him being made at me, too.   
"Just give her some time," he says.   
"Glad that you aren't still mad."   
"You can't blame me for wondering. Sometimes I wonder if this isn't all a great big dream, because you are you and way better than anything or anyone than I would ever be with..."   
"Logan," I say turning around and giving him a hug. "There is nothing better than you."   
There is a small silence before Logan adds, "Dr. Ambrose says that she can squeeze us in."   
"Ok."   
We walk back into the clinic and into the examination room. I undress and Logan helps me into one of those hospital gowns. He is just tying the string in back when Dr. Ambrose walks in. She is the same doctor that delivered Tinga's son. When Manticore started looking for Tinga, she relocated to Seattle. She knows all about the X-5's, because of Tinga. That is why we decided to go to her. We didn't want Manticore to know that we had even consulted a doctor. According to Washington law after the pulse all doctors records had to be submitted to state. Manticore would have people scanning the records and that brings up unwanted questions. This works better. She doesn't even have the records in her office.   
"Good afternoon, Max, Logan. How are you feeling today?"   
"I am fine Sherry."   
"How can I help you guys today?"   
"Well tomorrow I come out of my first trimester and we just wanted to make sure that everything is okay."   
"Alright, lay down."   
I lay down on the table and Logan comes over and holds my hand. Sherry puts the goop onto my stomach and turns on the ultrasound. I can see the baby and I close my eyes. I don't want to see the baby until I can hear its heartbeat. It is too early to tell what gender the baby is and I don't want to know anyway. Several minutes have gone by and I open my eyes. Logan is squeezing my hand tightly and tears are welling up in my eyes.   
"Wait, there. There it is."   
Tears role down my face and Logan kisses my forehead.   
There it is.   
BOMP, BOMP, BOMP.   



End file.
